Dealing with Unkind People

I like to share 2 unpleasant incidents and my thoughts on them. The first incident happened when I asked a shopkeeper on where to locate a particular product and she answered in a very impatient and rude manner. The 2nd incident happened when I was in the lift with some neighbors living in the same block. The lift door opened before the ground level and a little boy ran out. A kind man chased after him and brought him back. I thought it would be nice to move in a little so that they have space to come into the lift. I did not realize I was invading into the space of an elderly lady and she got irritated by that and started ranting at me. The mother of the boy, who knew the elderly lady, tried to explained that I did not realize her presence and the lift was crowded. That did not stop her as she continued venting her frustration until we reached ground level.

My initial reactions to both incidents were negative and defensive. An instinctive part of me wanted to get even with them because I thought that I was totally undeserving of such treatment, especially when I have done nothing wrong to them. However, in both occasions, I chose to calm myself down and move away and then move on. I feel that sometimes, the best reaction to any form of negativity is to ignore them and not try to get even. This is because by into any argument/ disputes/ quarrels with these angry folks, we are sucked into the vicious cycle of negativity. Soon, we will be hurling abuse to one another and make our day even more miserable. After that, we tend to share this unhappy experience with our friends, loved ones, and when we do so, we refresh our memory on the confrontation again, reminding ourselves of the unhappiness and making us feel angry and unhappy again. When this becomes a habit, we get sucked into another vicious cycle whenever someone did something unpleasant to us.

I feel that a better approach is to ignore these people who are unkind to us and not get into any confrontation with them. When we move away and calm ourselves down, we can better understand why some people react in a certain way. For the shopkeeper who was rude, she could be having a bad day and the weather was really hot that day so it might have contributed to her bad mood. For the elderly lady who was reacting very negatively, she could be overly concerned about protecting her health (physical) and wanted to prevent an incident from happening, e.g. me stepping on her toes. Whatever the case, not reacting to the negativity stops the negativity there, it does not evolve into something more unpleasant. Also, not reacting is not a sign of weakness or cowardice, it is sign of sensibility and maturity. We cannot control how others think or how others react, but we certainly can control how we think or react to their actions. Understanding this fact makes a world of difference.

Lastly, these 2 incidents did not affect me much because I choose not to let them affect me negatively. They did not derail my motivation to spread kindness and influence others to do good. In fact, I am more determined to do so after these incidents because it is evident that kindness is clearly lacking in some ways. If we can show more kindness to others, perhaps we will be more patient and tolerant towards others, even when we feel intruded in some ways. If we choose kindness over getting even with others, we are likely to feel happier and achieve inner peace. Don't focus on the negativity, move on, be kind and help others, you definitely will feel better than dwelling on the unhappy stuff.

We can all lead a happier life, the choice is ours.

The Kindness Superhero in You

I am sure most people around us are generally kind and have done many kind acts in their lives. When someone approach them for help, they are most likely willing to help you out. This group of people belongs to the "Reactive Kindness Giver", i.e. whenever they are called upon, they will offer kindness to anyone in need.

There is another group of people who is known as the "Proactive Kindness Giver". They proactively look for kindness opportunities and will offer their time, effort and energy to engage in acts of kindness even when they are not called upon. They are likely to take the initiate to improve things and go the extra mile to make life better for others. The proactive kindness giver will lead by example and inspire others to proactively give kindness through the amazing things they have done.

Through PARK, I hope that we can convert more "Reactive Kindness Givers" to become "Proactive Kindness Givers". The world needs people to take the lead, be role models so that others can follow their inspiring examples to give more kindness. If there is no one leading by example, the whole kindness movement will collapse. We need to read about inspiring kindness stories, learn of amazing people who go all out to make the world a better place through their kindness. The world needs a Kindness Superhero and that person could be you.

Each of everyone of us can be a Kindness Superhero and change lives through our actions. All we need to do is to believe in that and be a Proactive Kindness Giver. We can make the world a better place to live in, through acts of random kindness, one at a time. Be someone's Superhero today, the sense of satisfaction you get will be the greatest feeling you have experienced.

Planting the Seed of Kindness

While I aspire to encourage people around me to engage in acts of random kindness, I do not define for them what is an act of kindness. Neither do I come out with a "Top 1000 Acts of Kindness" manual for anyone to follow. I believe this is totally unnecessary because kindness can come in any forms, at any place or happen any time. What I hope to achieve is to influence people to embrace kindness in their heart because when they do so, the opportunities to be kind are limitless. My friends, I hope you can plant this seed of kindness in your heart and nurture it regularly with more acts of kindness and soon it will grow into a strong tree of kindness. You will be amazed by how much kindness you can give when you let the kindness in your heart lead the way.

I would like to share this article on inspiring acts of kindness, whereby Loga and his friends came together to raise funds for need families so that these folks can have a very special festive celebration. With the money gathered, they bought festive goodies, simple deco and gave Ang Pows to the needy families. Initially, they had wanted to reach out to 20 families by raising $2,000. However, within 16 hours of appeal, the group of friends received almost $10,000 in donation and kind from family, friends and good-hearted Samaritans. Therefore, Loga and his friends reached out to 70 families by distributing festive packs and gave out $50 cash/ voucher per family island wide. Their amazing acts of kindness and volunteerism did not stop there because they helped to clean several homes and bought 28 pairs of shoes for boys from Ramakrishna Boys Home. If we want to see how far kindness can bring us to, this is a perfect example.

Thumbs Up for all the acts of kindness and Great Work Guys! You have made all your loved ones proud of you.