Doing My Part For Children with Cancer

"Mommy, why does everyone else has hair but I don't?"
This is one question that children with cancer could be asking their parents when they suffer from the side effects of chemo treatment. They may not understand why they are going through this difficult phase. Their self esteem could take a dip when they lose their hair, especially when they are teased by their classmates.

It has been almost a week since I shaved bald. Despite the assurance from the barber that I had a fantastic head shape, family members commenting that I actually look better in the new look, I still feel weird and somehow a little insecure walking around, esp. when meeting shocked colleagues and friends.
I think for children or anyone, men or women, suffering from cancer, the most morale crashing thing they fear is for people to look at them in different light and think they look weird or shun them thinking the illness is contagious. This is a double blow on top of the physical trauma (hair loss, appetite loss, the pain and suffering experienced during the treatment process).
We as fellow members of the community can do so much more for them. If we can encourage them by telling them it is okay to be bald, to show them they are not alone in this fight, and to provide that little financial support for the families in need, it will make their lives so much better. When we give them hope, we also give ourselves hope.
This is my humble fundraising project for children with cancer and their families: https://www.ccf.org.sg/giving/fundraisng_event.php?id=fundraising-for-children-with-cancer
I do whatever I can, whenever I can, within my means, and I feel blessed to be a giver rather than a receiver. This is not a quest to prove how much I can raise personally but a quest to prove that every one of us can help make a difference to shape a better world together.
When you know that your existence helped made someone's life better and when you know you have achieved things that money can't buy, you will realise that your life is a well lived one.
Thank you everyone for your support and kindness !

3 Things we can learn from babies.

1. Always curious, always learning.
Babies are always curious and always keen to explore the world around them, as a result they learn a lot within a short period of time. As we aged, our curiosity and desire to learn things slow down because we thought we knew a lot already. But the world we live in is big enough for everyone to keep learning and exploring, until the last day of life. Technology advancements (think google and youtube) mean that these information are more readily available as compared to 20 years ago. So, keep learning and keep improving.

2. Keep trying until you succeed.
What happens when babies first learn how to stand or walk? They fall, then they get up, then they fall again, then they get up and keep trying until they succeed. No babies ever thought that this is too tough and decided not to try anymore. As we grow older, the negative thoughts, self doubts we have inside us made us want to give up more easily and thus stop us from reaching our goals. Be like the baby, ignore the negative voices and keep trying until you succeed.
3. Love the people who love you, and ignore the rest.
If a baby loves you, they enjoy playing with you and they want to spend their time being with you. Babies don't waste their time on people they don't like, nor do they do harbour hate in their mind. As we matured, we start to get affected by the negative people, the negative events but these are things that do not matter, yet take our focus off those that matter. So, be like the baby, focus your time and energy on the people you love most and ignore those who are not deserving of your time.
The traits of a baby represent the purest form of human beings, there is no prejudices, discrimination, hate among the different races, religion, nationalities or skin tones. If we truly want the world to be a better place, it is time we "almighty" adults take a leaf out of a baby's book and start to bring out what we are truly made up of

Start the Day with Positive Thoughts

When you wake up every morning, what are your first thoughts?
If you wake up thinking, oh man, another working day, so tired, you dread about facing your boss, the workload, demanding clients and so on, chances are your day will be uninspiring and boring because you have given yourself many reasons to be unhappy and negative. And this happens when your day has barely started.
If you wake up feeling blessed that you are alive, you don't have major health issues to deal with, you are living in a safe country, you have all your basic needs fulfilled, there are variety of food options everywhere, the public transport system can get you almost anywhere, you have an income to support yourself and your loved ones, then you set the tone for a happy day ahead.

Even if things don't go your way and negative events are happening, e.g. stuck in traffic jam, more workload, you will still feel thankful that you have so much more that matters, beyond these ad hoc negative events. But if you start your day already feeling negative, any negative event happening is going to make you further demoralised or depressed.
So, pay attention to your thoughts as you start your day, because how you think determine how you live. How you live affects the people around, your loved ones, your friends or even strangers online. If you live your life in a very negative fashion, it rubs on to the people around you, more anger and hate will be generated in our world. So, let's all be more positive and spread more positive vibes around, shall we? It may not be the easiest thing to do but we can all try ya?

Counting Blessing in a Power Outage

We often don't realise how much we are blessed until the blessings are taken away from us. For instance, my block experienced a power outage just 2 nights ago. During that one hour plus of outage, we were basically doing nothing in darkness because the lights, fan, TV and whatever electrical appliance were all down. We had torchlight but it was not bright enough for us to carry on our normal activities. We had battery operated hand held fans but they were not strong enough to keep us cool.

It is in these times that we realise that we have taken for granted the many blessings that we have in our lives, simple things like having electricity to operate the household appliances, the lights, the fans, the aircon, the water heater, having clean drinking water off the tap, having gas for cooking...etc. Not everyone in this world gets these things readily like we do. Even within Singapore, there are poor families who had their electricity cut off because they couldn't afford them.
The more we realise how much blessings we have, the more thankful we are for having them, is the more contented and happy we will be. Stop being unhappy with what you don't have and instead shift the focus to the many blessings you already have.

Give when the Opportunity Comes

Was clearing my old stuff when I chanced upon a stack of uni notes. Back then, I loved doing mindmaps to understand the concepts better, and I am glad that I shared these mindmaps with anyone who found them useful during that time. Because if I held onto the mindset that sharing would let my peers gain an edge over me or made me acdemically weaker, and I missed the opportunity to help someone, then it is an opportunity gone forever. The syllabus has changed after so many years and the notes are pretty useless to me or anyone now.
Opportunity missed may be opportunity gone, what we can give today may be irrelevant tomorrow, so let us give whenever and wherever we can. Life is too short to look back on missed opportunities and the things we could have achieved when we are given a chance to do so.

Know Your Needs vs. Your Wants

Overheard the PA behind me asking one of my junior staff about his new bag. They then went on to talk about the price and the conversation goes something like this, "His (another junior staff) bag cost $200+ because it was made in Korea, mine cost $100+ and it was made in US."
I just bought a new bag too, I thought it is stylish, lightweight and fits my needs. Because it was brandless, it costs only $20. I have nothing against young working adult paying hundreds of dollars for a backpack but they must not later complain that life is tough, everything is so expensive and work is chaining them down because they can't survive without the income. There are options out there and they chose the one that is more high class which obviously comes at a higher price.

If we can all learn to manage our "wants" and focus on our "needs", life is not that bad afterall. We may eventually learn that we are more blessed than we thought.

Kindness Makes the World Better

This morning, I was very thankful that at my most desperate moment, I managed to find a toilet. It was at a place I didnt know a toilet exist, the petrol kiosk. The attendant was kind to direct me there. I was also thankful that the seat in the lone cubicle was clean because I really dread toilet seats covered with urine. I then realised the toilet roll ran out but luckily i have own pack of tissue. I left the remaining of my pack there, so the next patron will not get a shock when he realised there is no paper.

Life can hit you with unexpected events and nothing is more comforting when you can get help when you need them most. Always be kind when you can, you could just be another person's life savior at their most desperate moment.
Part 2:
Was lunching at a coffeeshop when an Uncle dropped by to sell tissue paper. Let me make a visual assessment: Uncle looks to be in his early 50s, not very old, no disabilities, don't look like needy so I didn't buy from him. He walked one round and got rejected by everyone else. That justified my assessment/ judgement on him, doesn't it?
However, something in me made me want to buy from him, to encourage him after all the rejections. I mean I dont have to give him $5 or $10, but surely I can pay him $1? Even if he is not a needy, he is still a businessman. So I waved for Uncle to come to my table. I gave him $1 and told him I only need 1 packet (instead of 3).
Uncle's reaction surprised me, he told me since I only need 1 pack, he can give me for free. Moments ago, I was judging him but now he was willing to give me a packet for free despite not earning / selling anything when making his rounds. I eventually insisted he sell me 1 pack for a dollar and he later gave another pack of pocket tissue to me and told me it was good (useful).
We built walls with people because we passed our judgement way before we even made an effort to understand them. Only kindness can help to tear down all these walls and made us bond closer as fellow members of the human race.

Compare With the Right Group if you wish to be Happy

If I ask you don't compare and you said you can't because it is human instinct, then I ask of you to compare with people who are worse off than you, if you really want to be happy.
It is simple logic actually, you compare with someone who is better than you in certain aspects, naturally you feel inadequate and unsatisfied. But if you compare with someone who is worse off, you will more blessed in many ways.
All our life, we are always comparing, consciously or subconsciously. As long as we have common ground, we have room to compare; we compare against our friends, our siblings, compare kids, compare spouse...etc. However, have we stopped to ask ourselves what is the true purpose of doing so? If it is to excel or gain happiness, by all means pls go ahead and compare. But if it creates unhappiness, jealously or anger, pls stop to evaluate again because the purpose is meaningless really.

Sometimes, you may be sucked into this cycle of comparison unknowingly because it was initiated by another person, but I believe you absolutely have the power to pull yourself out and re-evaluate what you are doing.
Don't spend all the time and energy doing things that are unconstructive and then later regret you could have spent your time more wisely or give them to the people who matter most.

Kindness is Looking Out for One Another

A group of pedestrain was walking across the road even when the lights were not in their favour, simply because there were no cars. Then, a car came and a lady quickly alert another lady who was nearest the car but busy on her phone. They do not know each other, yet it doesn't stop one lady from looking out for another.
I like that and I think we need that. Life can be tough, Life can be hard, but if we look out for one another, help one another, we can make things so much better for all of us. We don't need to keep competing with one another, fight one another, the world is big enough for all of us to co-exist together. The world has enough negative energy, if we continue to fight one another instead of help one another, we will only create more negative energy, which is neither meaningful nor helpful.

We all want to see a better world, yet it is in these little actions that we give on a consistent basis, that we bring about change, through our collective efforts.

The Story I did not Share

 The year 2014 was a fantastic year for me in terms of community service. My Project Act of Random Kindness - PARK initiative was picking up, I started this group, P2P, and together we helped many projects/ initiatives achieve their goals and reach out to those in need. I also had another group where we rally everyone to help water the drying plants everywhere in Singapore and we were all so happy when the rain finally came.
Just when life couldn't get better, I crossed path with the big 'C'. I was initially very confident of my health as I rarely fell sick and didn't want to go through a biopsy. The doctors told me that the chance of getting the illness is only 1%, considering my age and health profile. I did it anyway to get a peace of mind. The biopsy result turned out positive and I was diagnosed with the early stage of a rare and aggressive cancer. It was a period of denial followed by uncertainty and then fear, as I struggled to cope with the diagnosis. I was not the only one suffering, my family members suffered together with me. We were busy running around, seeking 2nd opinion, learning more about the illness and exploring the treatment options. Luckily, I was well covered by insurance then and only need to fork out 10% of the total treatment cost. Otherwise, the medical bills would be another burden for me.
From my own experience, I know that cancer can hit anyone and sometimes it is very unexpected. I was living a healthy lifestyle, I don't smoke or drink, I rarely fell sick and there was no family history in my entire family tree but somehow I still got it. When cancer happen to a young child, it is even more heartbreaking, because their lives have barely started. Their time should be spent on exploring the wonders of the world and not in battling this illness. It is a draining journey, waiting for test results is nerve-racking and sometimes complications kicks in during the treatment cycle. Even if results are negative, the risk and fear of relapse are always there.
I think we as fellow members of the community, can do our part to support the children suffering from cancer and their families. If I can forgo that just one meal at my favorite Japanese restaurant or miss just that one movie and use that amount to help save a life, I think it is money well spent. I hope we can all understand that we are not just donating money, we donating hope as well, to encourage these children and their families that they are not alone and many are in this battle with them.
This is my campaign to raise funds for CCF, to help the families of children cancer patients:
https://www.ccf.org.sg/giving/fundraisng_event.php?id=fundraising-for-children-with-cancer

I know I can count on all of you to make a difference. This is what makes our group great and this is what that makes every one of you special and wonderful.
Thank you for believing in kindness and thank you for spreading your love to those who need them the most. Let's build a better world for ourselves and many generation to come.

If You Want to Be Happy, Envy Yourself !

If you want to be happy, the person you should envy most is yourself. I am very sure that someone out there is going to envy you for something you have and they don't. It could be your cheerful personality, your quick wit or your kind nature. Find it and "envy" yourself for that.
We live in a world where there is so much comparison with everyone else, yet we conveniently forget that no one is perfect. I envy you, you envy him, he envy her and end up we are all unhappy. If everyone start looking at what they are blessed with, the enviable traits of being themselves, then that is when they start to find contentment and inner peace.

Be the person enviable and envy the person you are, because you are the one and only one in this world. You are unique, you are special and you are your own kind of beautiful, so love yourself because you deserve it !

The World Needs More Actions

This morning I realised something while taking the bus, that is if the hammer to break the glass is dislodged, it will give out a stinging alarm sound.
The hammer was dislodged somehow in the midst of my journey and the alarm sounded but no one did anything about it. Some people could be ignorant, some people could be waiting for the bus driver to do it, since it is "his bus and his job" right?
To keep waiting means we suffer together, until someone do something. So instead of questioning why others is not doing it, why don't I question why I am not the one to put the hammer back to stop the alarm? Of course, I can give reasons like I don't know how or I am sitting way at the back of the bus but I can try?

The world has too many questions, why this why that, yet too little actions being taken by the people who question.
Let me ask pose these questions too:
"If not me, then who?"
"If not now, then when?"
You and me, we can do so much more, and the world needs that. Start taking small actions today, we will make a difference together.

What is a Happy Day?

If you ask me a few years ago what is a happy day, I will describe a day where there is no work and I can do the activities I enjoy. These days usually only happen when I am on leave or on a vacation trip.
But if you ask me the same question today, I will describe a day where there is no need to go to the hospital, no medical review, no need to go under the knife, no need to anxiously wait for medical results, no need to rush to A&E in the middle of the night, a day where I am healthy and feeling good.

Doesn't that sound like the everyday we have? But we often don't realise how much we have until we lose them. Health, quality time with our loved ones, when we have them, it seems like an entitlement that we have for life. When we lose them, we start to have regrets and wish we have a second chance or given more time to appreciate what we have.
Life is about choices and you can't win all the time. When you decide to spend time on one area, you lose time on other areas. Know what is really important to you and channel your energy to the real treasures of your life and stop wasting time on the things you don't really need. Make everyday a happy one !