Gratitude

When I think of why I am doing what I am doing, gratitude always comes to mind. The people who helped me when I needed them most, the acts of kindness they have done for me, will always remain in my memory for years to come.

When I started my National Service, being the homely boy I was, coupled with a drastic change of environment, I had quite depressive thoughts in the first week of training. My platoon instructor, who had the unfriendliest of look, actually took time to counsel me when I told him that I was not settling well. He made me realize that my problem was not as huge as I imagined and that I was not alone in dealing with them. I had the support of the people around me to cope with the transition.

When I couldn't sleep at night because it was either too many mosquitoes flying around or too hot with the mosquito net casted over my bed, I asked my buddy if I could swap bed with him as his bed was directly under the fan. I never expected him to agree but he did and I am truly grateful to him because insomnia is such a pain, especially when sleeping hours were so precious those days.

When I was struggling with studies in the first semester of my engineering course during my Uni days and feeling so stressed up, my friend became my knight in shiny amour to offer me free coaching on my weaker modules, at the expense of his own free time. I was able to catch up eventually and help other course mates who are weak in their studies.

So, why do we give kindness? We give kindness because we know what it is like to receive kindness. We give kindness because we have been touched by the kindness of others. We also hope that our loved ones (children, parents, friends) can also be on the receiving end of other's kindness and that they can receive help when they need most. This is possible if all of us can develop the kindness culture within our society. The people you help today will go on to help others and who knows, that person may be your loved one or it could also be you.

Thank you for believing in kindness & here's wishing everyone a happy & enjoyable weekend ahead smile emoticon

"Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you." ~ Princess Diana

Let Kindness Be Our Safety Net

Dear Friends of P2P (New & Old),

I want to say a big "THANK YOU" for joining our humble group and giving your wonderful support for the initiatives shared here. I started this group with the main aim of providing more opportunities for everyone to do good, by sharing all the meaningful initiatives started by volunteer groups and individuals keen to make a difference to those in need. I know most of us lead busy lifestyles and cannot commit to regular volunteering. However, doing good and giving kindness goes beyond volunteer work, it can be donation of preloved items to bless poor families, sponsorship of groceries for low-income families, charity fund raising, recycling efforts or simply spreading the word and raising awareness on meaningful/ charitable initiatives. Some acts of kindness are as effortless as a few clicks of the mouse, so we are definitely capable of giving kindness, no matter how busy we are. I hope that through the initiatives shared here, you can kickstart your kindness journey and continue the good work of spreading love & kindness to whoever needs it and make our world a more beautiful place to live in. My vision is for us to build a community of kind friends, always ready and willing to help those in need and move everyone forward together.

I am a strong advocate of saving for rainy days, in the event life takes a turn for the worst. We should as much as possible depend ourselves before we turn to others for help. However, there may be situations where it can be too overwhelming for one to handle, e.g. hefty medical bills for rare medical condition. Also, not all problems can be solved by money alone, e.g. appeal to find missing family members, appeal for donation of organs. These are situations where we need to leverage on the community to come together to help the family in need tide through the difficult circumstances. There is definitely strength in the numbers, a huge amount when shared by a large number of donors is actually an affordable amount, a message spread across different networks of friends is information disseminated to hundreds or thousands of people. What is stopping people from turning from disappointment to despair to destruction is a magical feeling called Hope and Hope is what the kindness community can provide.

We must develop this culture of giving kindness because when we are helping one another, hope prevails and all problems can be solved eventually. We never know the day when we could be on the receiving end of others' kindness but we can be reassured that as long as we keep giving, we shall not fear that day because kindness is our safety net, there will be people to help us out when the time comes. I do not fear the day where there is no more money (our ancestor live well before money was invented) but I fear the day where there is no more kindness. When people start to live for themselves, care for themselves and have their world revolve around themselves, that will signal the start of the end for humanity. Therefore, I urge more friends to come forward to build our kindness safety net, simply by doing good whenever you can; it will be for the welfare of everyone, including you, your family, your future generations. Thank you for those who have already done that, the seeds of goodness you sow today will benefit many who are reaping the fruits tomorrow, thank you very much for your love & kindness and keep up the good work!

Helping Baby Yujia

Last night, I watched a programme on TV which was about babies in China born with defects and abandoned by their birth parents. There is this Home (Blue Sky Healing Home), which brings in these children, send them for corrective surgery and thereafter help them get adopted. All of the children who are healed and adopted look so much happier than they were before surgery.

This morning, I read about the heartbreaking story of Yujia and how she had to go through so many surgeries, fought multiple complications and infections, with tubes inserted in various parts of her body, going through so much sufferings while still being just a baby.

I know the medical fees are extremely high and fund raising is definitely going to be a big challenge. However, humanity can prevail even when the odds are stacked against it. All we need is hope, then comes belief and finally success. You may think that your contributions are so insignificant but when you give and people follow your lead and more people join in, you will know the true significance of your gift, by then the target may not seems so unachievable afterall.

Keep the candle of hope burning by giving within your means, every child deserves a happy and healthy childhood. You and I can make it happen for someone who may never be able to repay us, that is the true spirit of giving:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/1437902803105381/permalink/1647960595432933/?pnref=story

What Makes Us Happy In Singapore?

Dear Friends,

The TV broadcast on the documentries over the last few days has been nothing short of a crash course history lesson, especially to the younger generations. We learn to count our blessings because we have so much today as compared to the past. Everything is pretty much developed and convenience is no longer a luxury for most people. When we can appreciate what we have in life, we will feel happy and contented.

Earlier, I asked myself, what can an ordinary Singaporean like myself do for my country? I don't think I am good enough to join politics but hey I can still do something right? Let me start off with the very small and simple things which I believe most of us can do. Since writing/ sharing on social media is one of my interest, I thought why not do something that I like that can benefit fellow Singaporeans as well.

I am thinking of starting a Facebook Group called "What Makes Us Happy In Singapore?" and hope that friends can join me in sharing the things that makes you happy living in Singapore. It can be anything ranging from giving kindness, doing volunteer work, retail therapy, sales & promotion, sharing about your pets, your favourite food, sports and so on. I want the HAPPY YOU to share about what are the things that make you happy. Friends who are always feeling unhappy are welcome to join this group to look for ideas and inspiration to be happy. However, all negative comments or posts will be deleted. My intent is to generate as much positive energy as we can from this group. If there are folks who wish to complain about their misery or to criticise fellow Singaporeans or any political party, I am sure you know of the many platforms who are doing that right now. I see no point in spreading more negativity on cyberspace because these actions will get everyone sucked into the vicious cyle of unhappiness, hate and anger.

I know many people face many challenges but there are always reasons to be happy. If we spend our whole life focusing on our issues and fail to appreciate what we already have, then it is natural that we feel unhappy and dissatisfied. If there are leads and reminders that happiness are always achievable, I hope it rubs on to everyone. I believe when one is contented and happy, one is more willing to help others and stand united. When we are all united, like our forefathers when building Singapore, we will create a better future together, for ourselves and our future generations.

Pls feel free to share your feedback on this idea, even if you think it is a lousy one smile emoticon If this idea is well received, I will proceed to create the group. Thank you everyone for reading through and taking time to comment, cheers smile emoticon

*** Latest Update ****
Group was created and we welcome all friends to join us to share the things you are happy about living in Singapore:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1553301294943067/

Anger

I was at a bakery to buy some snacks when I left my drink on a table near the cashier counter. Upon receiving payment, the cashier unintentionally knock down my cup and my drink spilled over my shirt and pants. At that immediate instant, I felt quite pissed actually. It was as though being angry was a reflex action when someone did something unpleasant to me. So I asked myself, why was I angry when my drink was spilled? I found a few reasons to justify my anger:

1. The cashier was careless and should have seen the cup
2. The drink was in my opinion overcharged and spilling means I get less
3. I had to walk back a distance to get another drink if the whole cup was spilled
4. I had to wash up as the drink was all over my hands, shirt and pants

However, I think the more critical question I need to ask myself is, how will being angry help to solve the problem? In some situations, being angry and hostile may help a little, esp. if the other side values customer service and is willing to make compensation. However, it does not work all the time. If it doesn't work, will we get even angrier, now that we don't get what we want? By being angry, what am I compromising on? I am actually compromising on my health, physically and emotionally.

In life, we often find many reasons to get angry. We could be angry with our boss, our colleagues, our spouse, our children, our parents, strangers on the street, on the train, angry with the government, angry with high cost of living, angry with what people say on cyberspace and so on. Anger when not managed properly will lead to hate and hate leads to many ugly things. Physically, anger can lead to increased blood pressure, headache, increased anxiety, insomnia and heart problems. Emotionally, anger is a negative emotion and if allowed to grow, will soon become a habit which leads one to get angry easily. The vicious cycle continues as one gets angry easily, does nasty things to others, incites more anger and hate through one's actions. All these while, little is done to solve the problem and a lot of effort and energy is expended on being angry with one another.

I cannot expect anyone to be remain calm at all times but I think we can ask ourselves one simple question when that bout of anger strikes, how does being angry help to solve the problem or change the situation for the better? Or, is it causing more harm than good? Maybe this self-questioning can evoke the logical part of the brain to choose to do the right thing; focus on the solution, not the problem. I leave you with this quote:

“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”

* Be Kind * Be Happy * Be Positive *

Money ~ Happine$$

Whenever I dine out or go on a holiday, I would think to myself, how nice it is to have money. With money, I am able to enjoy a good meal or a good holiday with my loved ones and that makes me happy. Living in Singapore, we have less things to worry about as compared to other countries, which should eliminate some sources of unhappiness. We are free of natural disasters (yes we have the haze, flooding, drought once in a while but they are not as serious as other countries). Our police force is efficient and our streets are safe at night. We have an extensive transport system (despite the breakdowns but infrastructure is there). Amenities and medical facilities are also reachable. So, the element that makes most Singaporean unhappy about is money (or rather the lack of money).

I shall not elaborate on the reasons why the lack of more money is making many unhappy because the more we dwell on this subject, the more we are glorifying money and the unhappier we will get. We will never have enough because greed and insecurity will set in and we want more. Let me ask a simple question, if you were given $100,000 with no strings attached, will you be happy? I think most people will be happy to receive $100,000. However, if there is a condition that upon receiving this $100,000, you will have to sacrifice something important from your life, say your health, your loved ones or your freedom, will you still do it? If the answer is no, then why no? The reason is because we value our loved ones, our health and our freedom more than what money can offer us, all these are priceless. If money is so important, why can't it replace our health, our loved ones or the things we hold dearly?

Money is necessary to fulfill our basic needs, food, shelter, living expenses but beyond that, money is used to satisfy our wants. If we are unhappy today because we think we don't have enough money, then we might be focusing on the wrong area (thinking that only money can makes us happy). There are things in life, other than money, that contribute to how happy we are and if we can shift the focus back to these things, we will be happier. Having more money can make us happier but it does not makes us 2 or 3 times happier than what we are now. Going back to the thought which I had when I dine out or go on a holiday, yes money does makes it possible but I am happy because of the people I am with and I will probably be just as happy eating at home or touring around Singapore with my loved ones. Without them by my side, I will not be happy even if I have all the money in the world.

Happiness is really all about finding contentment in life, a poor man can be happy just as an unsatisfied rich man can be unhappy. If you are constantly fretting about money not being enough, it may be good to rethink this perspective and re-evaluate how rich or how poor you really are.

Join us at our happiness group to share and appreciate the little things in life that are really making you happy:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1553301294943067/

The Mathematics of Time

Most of us lead very busy lifestyles and time is often lacking. We wish that we have more time to do something we enjoy or something meaningful.

What if we are given an extra hour a day to do the things we have no time to do? When 25th hour comes around, what are the activities you would like to do during this hour? Maybe you want to read that book that you always have no time to read? Maybe you want to drop a message to a friend or a loved one to check how they are doing? Perhaps you can take this time to learn a new skill or pick up a new hobby? Maybe you can do something more for the community?

Now, let me ask another question, what if you only have 23 hours instead of 24 hours a day? With one less hours, what are the activities you thought you would rather not do/ cut down on because you have even less time now? Maybe you want to spend less 15 mins playing a particular game which gives you little accomplishment in real life? Maybe you want to cut another 15 mins on aimless Internet surfing? Maybe you can wake up 15 mins earlier? Maybe you can watch 15 mins less TV? Maybe you can find a shorter route to work?

So, let's put the 2 answers of the 2 scenario questions together.....

All of us have 24 hours per day,

We wish to have 1 hr more per day to do the activities we always wanted to do
24hr + 1 hr = 25 hr

We can save 1 hour per day by not doing certain activities that do not add much value or accomplishment in life,

25hr - 1 hr = 24 hr

The same 24 hr that everyone has everyday :)